Thinking of You
by goldiloks
Summary: Songfic. Thirteen thinks back...


**Songfic. I have to say, I really disliked this song until I saw the music video. If you haven't seen, look it up. I cried.  
I own neither the song nor the show. I just put two and two together. I hope it comes out to four.**

Thirteen remembers a song and realizes how applicable it is...

**HMDHMDHMDHMDHMDHMDHMD**

_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection_

I had one taste and was immediately addicted. You're not just my perfection, you're my addiction.

_Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one_

I like the age difference. I'm tired of people my own age. I want some one to tell me what do to for a change. I don't want to always have to be the instigator. And you, you did that. You filled that void I didn't know I had until you were gone.

_I still got a seed_

There was just one problem...

_You said move on  
Where do I go_

Who could I possibly turn to after you?

_I guess second best  
Is all I will know_

No one could possibly measure up to you, my addiction.

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes_

You're like an Indian summer  
In the middle of winter

Surrounded by all these people who just do what they're told, just stay where society puts them, you dare to be different. You dare to be who you want to be.

_Like a hard candy  
With a surprise center_

This facade, this mask that you wear... You don't want any one to know what's really in your heart, but I've seen it. I've been with you when you let your walls down fully. There is nothing but for me to think that you want me too, that you pushing me away is a part of the outer shell you've worked so hard to build.

_How do I get better  
Once I've had the best_

That one time. That one time when we were both hurting, we fell into each other. We were both lost, and we were each other's comfort.

_You said there's  
Tons of fish in the water  
So the waters I will test  
_  
You told me afterward that it was a mistake. I guess you didn't see the knife those words drove through my heart.

_He kissed my lips  
I taste your mouth_

I remember feeling your tongue against mine. That sweet fragrance that is so uniquely you, mingling with the bitterness of unshed tears.

_He pulled me in  
I was disgusted with myself_

Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you

Your body against mine.  
_  
Thinking of you_

Your breath on my neck.  
_  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night_

Would we repeat last time? Or maybe just hold each other until the tears faded into sleep?  
_  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into..._

You're the best  
And yes I do regret

One thing, and one thing only...

_How I could let myself  
Let you go  
_  
I should have demanded that you tell me the truth - that you want me, need me, the way I do you. Instead I just put my clothes back on and walked out of your office, praying I could hold in the tears until I reached my car.

_Now the lesson's learned  
I touched it,  
I was burned_

My head told me no, over and over again. There were so many reasons not to go into your office that night, not to kiss you, not to let myself actually feel something when you finally said my name in ecstasy. But my heart... my stupid heart... it skipped a beat when I stared into your eyes as you brought me over the edge. I've never felt that connected to another person in my entire life.__

Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you

I lay here next to my boyfriend now, tears falling silently onto my pillow while I think of you, as I've done every night since that fateful one.  
_  
Thinking of you_

Even when he and I engage, it's you I imagine, night after night.  
_  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night_

He holds me close. I long for it to be your body that I feel behind me. Your softness, your hair, your sweet breath on my neck.  
_  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes_

I would give anything to be able to see you right now. To be able to see those big,

_Looking into your eyes_

Beautiful,  
_  
Looking into your eyes_

Steely green-blue eyes.  
_  
Oh won't you walk through  
And bust in the door  
And take me away_

Please, wrap me up in you.  
_  
Oh no more mistakes_

Lisa. It was never a mistake for us to be together.  
_  
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay_

And I think you agree...

_Stay...  
_


End file.
